My personal story
As a teenager, I swam competitively for Kenya, the country I grew up in and call my home. I loved pushing my body’s boundaries (there were days I could barely pull myself out of the pool!) and working hard toward a goal, just having that dedication and commitment to something I loved doing. It became such a big part of my life and was the only thing I really worked hard for as a teenager.
But then at some point I started to get into my head too much before and during competitions. I got more and more anxious, couldn’t deal with the pressure and I didn’t know how to manage or regulate that. I started to freak out, and it impacted my performance. It was so overwhelming that the only solution I saw was to quit. So, I stopped swimming competitions. I still went to training but did not compete anymore. When I left high school, I quit swimming altogether, and it felt like leaving a part of me behind.
Fast forward to my early thirties when I went off to Scotland to study Performance Psychology – a course that changed my whole perspective and taught me how athletes use Mental Skills Training to manage, maintain, and enhance their performance. I was mind blown!
And I realized what happened to me as a teenager – I crumbled under pressure and I chocked. My anxiety about my performance took over; I fixated on the fear and the outcome and messed up the process. And something could have been done about it! I have no idea whether I could have continued to swim beyond high school but knowing what I know now could have helped me to perform better during my competitions, enjoy it more, and leave the sport I loved so much on a positive note.
And how many people can relate to that in everyday life? Anxiety before an exam, an interview, a big presentation, a pitch to a client, performing on stage, hitting those sales numbers ... the list goes on! All these skills are useful not only for athletes but for any part of our lives – whether we want to perform better at work, change the relationship we have with ourselves, or achieve our personal goals. They have improved my life, and I know they can do it for others too.
And as I know what it is like to need a coach, it is now my passion to help others not to go through choking, not to give up, and to be able to perform their best under pressure in whichever area of their life!
I’m not your average coach – what you might not know about me
I grew up in Kenya and have had an ongoing identity crisis for most of my life
“Where are you from – back to the roots?” I get this question a lot.
Born in South Sudan, raised in Kenya, originally German - I am your typical TCK (Third Culture Kid). Growing up amongst different cultures left a confused identity, not knowing where I belong, and not knowing where I fit in.
However, this ongoing identity crisis has led me down an interesting journey into how our identity is formed, how we relate to ourselves and others in societies, and the impact this has on our well-being.
Many years down the line I have understood what home means to me, and I have found that place. I define my own identity as a TCK and am learning to embrace my German side.
Identity is at the core of my work as a coach. No matter who you are and what you do for a living - our identity, how we see and relate to ourselves, determines the story we tell ourselves, our values, and with all that, our behaviour. It’s at the root of our being.
When we uncover this core, we can start to break the stories of ourselves that are not true, break the patterns that are holding us back, and work towards performing at our best!
My mum is my workout buddy and my inspiration
At 70 years old my mum was still running half marathons! She has a self-discipline and resilience that is remarkable. Come rain or shine she is active every day. We power walk 5 km 2-3 times a week and we swim together once or twice a week. We have done 2 10km marathons together and she pushes me to be the best version of myself! She is not only my inspiration - but we have also often been stopped by strangers driving by and either congratulating her or wanting to talk to her. During one marathon someone came up next to us and chatted to us, and when I caught up with him at a later stage of the event, he was telling someone else that there was a 70 – year old running the 10km and I got to proudly shout out in passing – ‘that’s my mum!’.
I have had a lot of help along the way
We all have lows and real challenges we face in our lives, and how we deal with those moments define us. When I look back on my journey so far and how I got through these moments, I always remember that I could not be where I am today without the help and support I received. I know what it feels like to feel lost, helpless, stuck, overwhelmed, and not understood. In those times I have been lucky to have had my family and closest friends there for me to help me figure out my life. There have also been mentors and teachers who have offered their help and who have had an impact on me. When I realised that my community and my own capacity where not enough to deal with a situation, I reached out to therapists and coaches, who have seen me through different stages of my life and who have helped me transform my life. So, when I say I know what it’s like to ask for help – I really do. I truly believe it takes a village, and I am so grateful for mine!
